Chemo #5 – Round 5

Almost half way down the road...

This time around was pretty uneventful. Sat down on the chair and they plugged me in. I have been seeing different faces every time I go now. Some are the same but most are different. Not sure if they are new faces or they just happen to come on that day. But you can usually always tell which ones is there first time by the worried and confused look they have. This last time around it felt more like an old folks home and I felt like an old man dosing in and out of sleep. The weekend after the treatment didn’t feel any worse than the last time and again it still lingers as the days go by. Sometimes I been having trouble sleeping which they said might happen. Every Doctors visit they weigh me and do a checkup. This week I finally gained three pounds. Which is a good thing because I don’t want to lose any weight while going through this. I would rather be plump. My goals through these treatments are to not lose any weight and to not become sick such as a cold or flu. The Chemo will weaken my immune system so it will make me more vulnerable to viruses. So, if you feel sick please stay away from me. I don’t want it!

This last week I have been playing more music when I get home from work trying to keep my mind from wondering. I've been playing the records that I forgot I had and that have been lost in the shuffle. There's Something about old scratchy records I’m expecting them to help a feller out.

Chemo #4 – Round 4

This Chemo thing is starting to be routine now. I guess that’s a good thing. When I was in the chair at the doctor’s office there was a lady next to me that was her first time. She had that worried look like I probably had when I first sat in the chair. She started talking to me and asking questions on what to expect. Like when did I start losing my hair and how bad do I feel. As I started talking to her about my experience I realized that I was in her shoes just four treatments ago. It was weird explaining this stuff to her like I was a veteran. It kind of scared me because this is something I don’t want to get used to. It is weird the days leading up to Chemo because you know what is going to come. I already know how I’m going to feel the weekend after the Chemo. No matter how I prepare myself Chemo is going to happen. This past weekend after the Chemo I slept all four days. It feels like the Chemo symptoms are staying with me longer and they are more intense. They say the worse you feel then you know it is working. The worst I felt was on Saturday and Sunday. You would think you will feel worse on the first and second day but I guess the Chemo needs time to go through your body. After Sunday the symptoms become better as the days go by but they still linger.

Being that it’s the summer and you hear that people are going to the beach and doing fun summer things it’s hard to know that this summer is a bummer for us. Sometimes I think I’ll be just fine if we go ride bikes or go swimming. But then thinking about it I realize I don’t even want to deal with it. Its like I already know how I’m going to feel once I’m outside in the hot sun. I do wish it were December. Please santa come early!! Soon enough I guess.

Our Anniversary!

Lorraine and I will celebrate our 4-year wedding anniversary this Friday the 7^th. Even though we have been married for four years we really been going out for a total of 12 years. Four years ago we would never think we would be in this situation. I think we assumed we would have a house of our own and possibly a little one running around by now. As we all know nothing really ever goes as planned. As much as we tried to plan everything this cancer thing through a detour sign in front of us. So now we are trying to find that path we once had to continue with our lives. I can’t imagine going through this without my Lorraine. Even through tough days she always throws a smile my way and then I know everything is going to be al right.

She’s been taking very good care of me and sometimes I feel bad because she is doing so much lately. The days I feel good usually the week of my next treatment I try and earn my keep at the house. Since I am a very active person its kind of tough sitting on the couch or laying down when I see her cleaning the house. Before the cancer I would be the one to clean the house and pick up things. I would try and do this before she came home because I know she has been stuck in traffic for a couple hours. I still don’t see myself the type of husband to sit around watching my wife do everything. But it’s only been two months so far and I have not become used to it yet and I doubt I ever will. Also, I feel kinda bad that we really will not be able to do anything to celebrate it. But we do have each other and I wouldn't want it any other way! These last four years went by really fast and I imagine the next four will go by just as fast. I know it’s been only four years but she still amazes me everyday. In the end Lorraine is the coolest chick I ever laid eyes on. I guess that’s why I married her!

The first pic took place in 1999 probably our first picnic together