Keep Your Cool

Two Year Remission

2011-11-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

I have been in remission for two years now! My recent scan came out good and now instead of going for checkups every 3 months I will go every 6 months. When the doc told me I could start coming every 6 months I kind of felt like she took away this shield that I was carrying. It is like I would have this reassurance every 3 months that I was still cancer free. I would almost look forward to it. Well, I new this day would come and it finally did.

In October I finally ran that full marathon that I been training for since just before I was diagnosed with cancer. 26.2 miles! I guess it was my two years of remission partying gift to myself. I highly recommend doing one full marathon at least once in your life. It will make you feel like you can accomplish anything. It was truly an amazing experience!

Our baby girl was born in August perfectly healthy! So, she has been keeping us on our toes as of late. A fantastic moment when she was just born they were cleaning her up right after the labor and she was crying like crazy, as baby’s do. I went over to her and saw her for the first time I called out her name and all of a sudden she looked up at me and opened her eyes and stopped crying in an instant. All of my fears, worries, and anxieties that I had with having cancer all of a sudden in that moment vanished. After that I new everything was going to be just fine.

The New Normal

2011-08-18T22:57:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened since my last post, which was over a year ago. Lorraine and I are having a baby girl! She will be arriving at the end of August. We have been very busy trying to get the house situated and getting ready for the next chapter in our lives. The question that came up a lot when we were first telling people that we are having a baby is if we had to use the sperm banking. Being that there might have been a chance that I wouldn’t have been able to have kids due to the chemotherapy. Well, it was all natural! It actually happened quicker than we thought it would. So, it all worked out! I am also training to run my first full marathon in October, which has been keeping me healthy.

I have been in remission for a 1 ½ years now and I am still going for checkups every three months. Every time I go I do a blood test and a CAT scan of my whole body. Six more months of this and then I will be going every six months instead of three months for checkups for the next three years. Since being in remission its hard not to think what if the cancer comes back and how would I deal with it. Any little thing that happens with my body, such as if I have body aches, tiredness or allergies I kind of freak out about it. A part of me thinks cancer again and I try to talk to myself and say everything is going to be o.k, which it has been. When doing stuff around the house I find myself doing multiple things all at once because I feel that what if something happens and I can’t accomplish things anymore. Especially with us having a baby and the new house it makes me think about that more and more. It does become stressful at times and I try to not think about the “what if” situations but man its tough. Its different nowadays in a sense that there was my life before the cancer and this is my life after cancer. It’s like a different kind of normal. Since being in remission two close people in my life had been diagnosed with cancer and I hear through different people how they know someone that was just diagnosed. Even though the treatments were very different than mine and no matter how advanced the cancer is you need to still try and beat it. I mean if you didn’t try and give it the best you can then everyone would wonder “what if”. I know it’s easier said then done but it can be done. Don’t give up the fight!

When the doctor finally said I was in remission my first question was do I need to be eating healthier now and exercising more? She said, “No, just do the things you did before”. This never made sense to me and always stuck in my head. I thought they would give me some kind of nutrition plan to follow or something. At the start of my remission I did try and be like my old self but every time I would eat a hamburger or have a beer I would think, “should I be eating this”? It would bug me so much that I am slowly getting rid of bad food in my diet and everything in moderation. I can see it would be very easy for someone to think I can eat, drink whatever I want as long as it makes me happy! I wonder though are you really happy? It’s hard to change eating habits and healthy habits but it’s possible. I guess if cancer did end up reoccurring I would want to say that I did all I could to prevent it. So, Lorraine and I started doing our own research on eating healthier foods and started eating more veggies, fruits and organic type foods. Try to stay clear of processed foods and eat more whole, raw food. We find that eating this way is not easy and its something to get used to. I do feel healthier than ever by changing our habits. Running and training for a marathon has also been my daily routine which has made me stronger and relieves the stress. People seem like now that I’m in remission I will be back to my old self like nothing happened. Which I wish was the case. The remission part of my cancer is a whole other beast that I’m still trying to tame. The new normal!

One Year Later...

2010-05-27T18:13:00.000-07:00

It has been one year ago today since I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s. Crazy! I remember it like it was yesterday. How I felt when the doctor told me what I had and when I told Lorraine and my family about it. I still get emotional thinking about it. I am now five months in remission and feeling normal as can be. It was like it never happened. I’m back to running, hiking and doing the things that I always have done even before the cancer. Like I said before it was like I was adrift at sea for six months almost like a dream. Hard to believe a year later I am healthier now than ever. I already had my first three-month checkup and I’m still good to go! I hadn’t been to the doctors since my Chemo days so the nurse’s and doctors were excited to see how healthy and hairy I looked. The doc says I was the first healthiest patient they seen in a while. I ended up taking out my Port in my chest at the end of February. They wouldn’t let me keep him. Now I have an inch size scar where they used to pump the chemo in my chest. Other than that you would never know I had cancer.

As most of you know during the chemo treatments Lorraine and I were still looking for a house to buy. On March 5^th we finally found one and it has been everything we wanted. So, this first half of the year has been the best yet! Like night and day compared to where we were at a year ago. Lately we have been extremely busy trying to organize our house and trying to get situated. After going through chemo and everything else that goes with having cancer I feel that I can accomplish anything. If something is not going the way it should be I always think back to when I was sick out of my mind and think this little thing is nothing compared to having cancer. It helps me in just about every situation. When I’m running and I feel like I want to stop because I’m tired. I’d rather be running and tired than go through cancer again. It boosts me up and I think that wasn’t bad at all.

Keep moving forward and never give up!

Back from the Sea...

2010-02-08T18:41:00.000-08:00

I am officially in remission! My results from my latest PET scan didn’t detect any cancer. I am happier about this result because this PET scan is more accurate than the CAT scan I had in December. I had to wait a week for the results of the scan and as you can imagine it was a tough week. Thinking about what the results may be was an awful feeling. You try and stay positive but every moment of the day you think about it. I am going to have to do this every three months for the next two years and then every six months for the next five years after. I imagine this first scan was the toughest and it will all be routine from here on out. It was a tough road but Lorraine and I did get through it and now we can move on! Felt like I was out at sea for seven months and finally hit land! The Doc gave me the O.K. to take out my Port! So, I may take it out within the next month. Perhaps I can keep it in a jar or something. You know, for old times sake.

It has been two months this week since my last Chemo treatment and I’m feeling pretty good these days. I was able to get my first haircut in seven months and now I am able to comb my hair and my eyebrows are getting darker. I may let the beard grow for now. I been running and hiking more and started golfing again. I still do get kind of tired but not as bad and I can tell the tiredness is going away. It’s amazing how your body can recover and become stronger from such awful treatments. I hate to say it but I feel that the cancer took a piece of me. I don’t think I feel the same as before. I have different worries and stress that I didn’t before. I feel like I was more worry free before the cancer. Sometimes when I’m out and about I look around and think that most people don’t know how much your life can change so quickly. Talking to different people about my experience almost everyone always says, “If I get cancer I don’t know what I’d do?” Unless these things happen to you we really don’t realize that we will suck it up and focus on being healthy again. I tell them, “I know what you would do” you will deal with it and focus on being better because we want to survive. Sometimes I notice when people see me they look like there not sure to ask me how I'm feeling. Its like if they are not sure if I want to talk about it or not sure if they should bring it up. Please don't hesitate to ask me questions about my experience. I'm more than willing to share them and talk to you about them. Before I started the Chemo treatments a friend who went through the similar experience told me to keep doing the things you love, never give up hope and continue listening to the music you love.

at Priscilla (Lorraine sis) & Toms Wedding 2/6/10

Let’s get back to Livin’!

2009-12-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

This last doctor’s visit was short and sweet. For once I didn’t have to do Chemo! The results of my last CAT scan came out great! The Doc says I am in remission and it didn’t detect anything. The reason I did a CAT scan and not a PET scan like the previous times before is because my insurance will only allow me to do a PET scan every three months. Since I did my last PET scan this last October I cant do another one until January. So, I will be doing another PET scan at the end of January. The PET scan is better at detecting the cancer and this should give me a more satisfying result. It’s kind of sad that Health insurance really dictates what the doctors can or cannot do.

After this next scan in January I will be going for checkups and scans every three months for the next two years. If the Hodgkin’s does come back it is most likely to come back within the first two years of remission. I will not have to do any more treatments and no more blood work every two weeks like I was doing. I feel like I have a fresh new start at life and can’t wait to start doing more things. With Chemo we really couldn’t plan anything and now I feel like we can move on with our lives. It was like our life was put on pause for these last six months and now it has restarted. Doc says it will take at least six months for the Chemo to wear off from my body. I will gradually feel better and my hair will grow back as the months go by. It is weird to try and get back to normal. Like going to dinner with friends was very exciting. Going to the record store and buying something for myself was an awesome feeling. You never know how much you miss these things and how normal they make you feel. I have been feeling tired by the end of the day and I been sleeping nicely. As for Rupert (my Mediport) it will really be up to me when I want to take it out. People can leave it in for years and live with it in case the cancer comes back. I’m not sure when I will take it out. I’m thinking I will wait a few months and see how these next scans come out. It only hurts when you press on it or rub against it and lay on it. It doesn’t look pretty but I can live with it for now.

I really believe I have beat this thing and Lorraine and I will live the life we dreamed of!

On a day that I would have had to do another round of Chemo we decided to go to Disneyland. Oh, it also happened to be my Birthday!

Hope everyone has a happy holiday!!

Chemo #12 – Round 12

2009-12-09T22:15:00.000-08:00

12 rounds! Done! Yes, it was an awful five days. As soon as I came back home I threw up the Gatorade that I was drinking and fell asleep for four hours. Like the times before everyday was a little better and as I’m writing this I feel pretty good. When I first started these treatments my goals were to not catch a cold or flu and to not lose any more weight. I did accomplish both of those. On my very first Chemo treatment I weighed 148lbs. and on my very last Chemo treatment I weighed 158lbs.

Of all the people that were coming and going for treatment I maybe seen one person that was a little younger than I was. Mostly all the patients were women and seemed like most of them had breast cancer. Sometimes when you arrive to get treatment it would be so packed that there would be no chairs left and you would have to wait. You really never realize how many people are going through this. People often asked me if it was depressing while receiving these Chemo treatments and really it wasn’t. There was about eight different nurses helping everyone out and they were all entertainers with smiles! The patients were really talkative, sleepy or kind of listening to people talk and tell their different stories. For me I would listen to my ipod or talk to Lorraine and my mom who went with me on every treatment. While receiving the treatment I couldn’t eat because just the thought of food made me sick. Each treatment lasted about three hours long. You could always tell when someone was a new Chemo patient. It was this mixture of confusion and scared, dazed look in the their face. I did sit next to a few of them and every time they would turn to me and start asking all sorts of questions about how I feel or when I started losing my hair. I always told them it’s not as bad as you would think. Which is true. When I was one of those confused patients I thought I would be in bed sick everyday and not able to function or go to work. The sickness didn’t really hit me until after my sixth treatment and after that it usually took me about five days to recover. In those five days I would mope around the house and try to sleep as much as I could to stop the nausea. The rest of the times I would become tired more easily and my bones would sometimes ache like just before you catch the flu. Also, I couldn’t have enough water to drink and I would crave veggies, beans and potatoes. Kind of weird.

Before all of this, I hardly ever got sick. I exercise regularly. I don’t smoke and before I was diagnosed I was in the best shape I have ever been. So, it is still shocking to me that I have been through this. Having cancer and going through Chemotherapy really brings up all sorts of feelings and emotions. Getting up in the morning and trying to fall asleep was very difficult. But I think the most difficult part of this for me was seeing Lorraine sad and sometimes upset. It was difficult to see my family and friends upset and watching people react when I told them I have cancer. It was difficult to let everyone help us out these last six months. I always have been the type of person to do things myself and not bother people with my problems. Even people that we really didn’t know were helping us out in there own way. From making us dinners, going with me for walks, donations and fundraisers. These last six months have been an amazing experience. I am very lucky to have had Hodgkin’s and not something worse. I am blessed to have such a wonderful wife that is so much stronger than I am. I am blessed to have a wonderful family and friends to support us along the way. Thank you so much!!

Since I am done with Chemo I think people think that I should be jumping up and down with excitement. I am excited but there’s that little thing in back of my mind what if it isn’t all gone and I’m getting excited for nothing. I know I need to believe and think about today and don’t worry what tomorrow might bring. The last body scan that I did in October had detected no cancer activity so it should still be the same. I still have to do a Catscan this week to give me my final clean bill of health. I will know the results next week.

Chemo #11 – Round 11

2009-11-29T20:57:00.000-08:00

This treatment was about the same as last time. Horrible! It’s kind of weird because the previous seven Chemo treatments didn’t feel as bad as these last five treatments. Things seem to be looking up as the end nears. I really do hope and pray this is the last time I’ll hear the word cancer. After this last treatment I still have to do another scan to give me the final clean bill of health.

I want to say thanks to everyone who has been supporting Lorraine and I through this whole mess. It would be even harder if we didn’t have all of you to send over those good vibes our way! I never want to wish cancer even on my worst enemy. It’s definitely the hardest thing we have ever been through. The final round of Chemo is finally here and I’m ready to win this thing!

I hope everyone had an awesome Turkey Day!

Chemo #10 – Round 10

2009-11-16T18:18:00.000-08:00

My tenth treatment was the worst! Just when you think it can’t be any worse it does. It knocked me down for a good five days after the treatment. I threw up more than a few times over the course of the weekend and felt like I was out at sea with my rowboat. After about the sixth day I felt better and good enough to go for more frequent walks. It’s amazing how horrible you feel one week and the next week you feel like a million bucks.

The good news is my hair is starting to grow a little. My hair never really went away but it thinned out quite a bit and stopped growing. My hair is no longer falling out and it seams darker now. The other part of the good news is that the Doc says that since I am responding so well to the treatments that I will NOT be doing any kind of radiation. All I have to do is finish up these 12 treatments and I’ll be on my way. Of course I will have to do a PET scan to give the final o.k. I know this will be it!

My last two treatments will be on November 19^th and December 3^rd.

Chemo #9 – Round 9

2009-10-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

The day before my ninth treatment I went for a walk by myself and as I began walking I just started running. It wasn’t much but being that I haven’t ran in five months it was very refreshing. It was an exciting feeling doing something besides walking. Lately when I go in for treatment that morning I always feel like I’m going to throw up. When I’m sitting in the waiting area I think about what I am going to feel like the next day and it makes me feel sick. It’s something that I will not get used to.

We received the PET scan results and they came back negative. Which means that the scan didn’t detect any cancer. The Doc says the treatments are working 100% but I will have to still complete my last three treatments of Chemotherapy. Although I am very excited about the results, I really wont be satisfied until I am completely done with all this nonsense. It is my goal to focus on these last three treatments and finish these 12 rounds like a champ.

Chemo #8 – Round 8

2009-10-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, I made it to eight treatments. I feel these treatments are finally getting to me. Even though the Chemo dosage is still the same as day one the days after seem to be more intense. This time around really beat me up for a good 7 days, which was not fun. Since I went on a Tuesday I missed a week of work and was in bed almost the whole time. There is really nothing to get rid of that feeling. The only thing that can get your mind off of it is falling asleep but I had a hard time doing that. Almost every night I would go to bed fairly early then I would lay there wide awake for about two hours. Then I would get up and walk around the house or sit on the couch listening to silence. Even when I would fall asleep it’s the kind of sleep that it feels like your still awake. I keep on dozing in and out of sleep waking up to every little noise. I feel the sleep is getting a little better but every night is different. Hopefully tonight is better than last night.

On Tuesday October 13^th I will go for another PET Scan of my body to see where the cancer is. I believe it will be a good outcome. I guess I wish I will do the scan and the doc will say, “Son, you are cured! No more chemo for you! For your troubles we will give you a lifetime supply of bubble gum!” and then a giant truck dumps bubble gum in my front yard. Yeah, that would be great.

As I mentioned on the previous post I was the Officiant at my sisters wedding, which went really well. I thought I would be more nervous than the wedding couple but they were way more nervous than I was. Once I was up there it was no problem. Leading up to the ceremony I was debating if I should wear a hat while I marry them. I still feel weird having a shaved head and I feel like I look sick when I am not wearing a hat. I guess my nervousness was more of I didn’t want people to look at me as a sickly person. For many of the guests at the wedding that was the first time they seen me since I was diagnosed so it was kind of hard for me. I chose not to wear the hat but I did bring a hat for after the ceremony. If I didn’t have cancer I would not have worn a hat and I didn’t want the cancer to be the reason for me wearing that hat. While marrying my sister I wanted to feel like myself as much as possible. Even though I did bring my hat for after the ceremony I did not put it on the whole night.

Chemo #7 – Round 7

2009-09-28T22:19:00.000-07:00

These Chemo treatments are all the same now. Seemed that this last one went faster than usual but I felt really bad when I came home. I just wanted to lie down and sleep. It was hard to eat anything but I managed to force it down. The Chemo symptoms lingered for about six days. I had to leave work early on Tuesday because my body was achy all over and I was getting a headache. I went home and past out for about six hours but since then I felt much better. This last weekend I did manage to go out for a few hours to meet up with some friends that we haven’t seen for a while. It was good to get out of the house.

I am skipping this week’s treatment because I will be marrying my sister Melissa and Kenny this weekend and I wanted to feel as good as possible. Yes, I became ordained as a Deputy Marriage Commissioner for the day to marry my sister. They had asked me to be the one to marry them about a year ago before I was diagnosed. When I did become sick I kind of had second thoughts, thinking I will be in bad shape for the wedding. I am glad I kept with it and decided to do it because when is the next time I’ll be marrying anyone. As I’m writing this I do feel pretty good and I imagine by this weekend I will feel even better for the wedding.

My next treatment will be on October 6^th. After this treatment i will do another PET Scan of my whole body to see where the cancer is at.

Chemo #6 – Round 6

2009-09-15T18:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm halfway to the end. This last Chemo session that was on September 3rd was just like the last three times, uneventful. I didn't gain any more weight. My Doc did mention if I want to look into getting a wig. She was asking me this with such a serious look and here I was trying my hardest not to laugh. It was a fantastic moment as I never thought I’d see the day when someone would ask me if I wanted to where a wig. Besides I don’t think they have Little Richard Chemo Wigs! The days after Chemo were the toughest this time around. I felt pretty horrible for a good eight days after the chemo. The symptoms I feel are mainly really nauseous and tired. I also was having trouble sleeping which I think made me feel worse the next day. All these symptoms do become better each day but it’s like you can’t do anything to help it. I have to keep on waiting it out trying not to think about it. Although I am not completely bald I am noticing my hair thinning out more everyday on some spots. My eyebrows and eyelashes seem to be thinning out slowly too.

My 7^th Chemo treatment is this Thursday September 17 and this will be exactly three months until my last treatment. Bring it!

This Time Tomorrow, Where Will We Be

2009-09-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone! Jason did a lot of sleeping this weekend so I had some free time to devour a homemade chocolate cake (thanks Brenda and Art!), do a little sewing, mostly hemming and mending. I also went through some of our old pictures while he slept. I made a video so I can share them with you. I cannot believe how time flies. Looking at these has brought back many memories! I couldn’t help but chuckle aloud because he is so silly and I even got a little teary eyed because these are my happy memories, so I thought I would share them with you all. We love and miss all of you guys, friends and family. We are halfway there! This is tough for Jason but he cannot do it without your phone calls and cheering on! Many many thanks. Enjoy and remember to hug the one you love!

XOXO

Lorraine

Untitled from Gilbert Contreras on Vimeo.

Dear Family and Friends

2009-09-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don’t know me my name is Priscilla, I am Lorraine’s sister. I would like to first thank you for all the support Jason and Lorraine have been receiving through this time. As you all know about Jason’s condition, but most of you might not realize the expense that may come with it. Health Insurance can only go so far and Jason and Lorraine are starting to receive the first set of many bills. Jason and Lorraine would never ask for anything, so that is why we have taken it upon ourselves to help them through this stressful situation.

Thank you for helping us to help Jason and Lorraine!

Much Love,

Priscilla and family

Chemo #5 – Round 5

2009-08-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

Almost half way down the road...

This time around was pretty uneventful. Sat down on the chair and they plugged me in. I have been seeing different faces every time I go now. Some are the same but most are different. Not sure if they are new faces or they just happen to come on that day. But you can usually always tell which ones is there first time by the worried and confused look they have. This last time around it felt more like an old folks home and I felt like an old man dosing in and out of sleep. The weekend after the treatment didn’t feel any worse than the last time and again it still lingers as the days go by. Sometimes I been having trouble sleeping which they said might happen. Every Doctors visit they weigh me and do a checkup. This week I finally gained three pounds. Which is a good thing because I don’t want to lose any weight while going through this. I would rather be plump. My goals through these treatments are to not lose any weight and to not become sick such as a cold or flu. The Chemo will weaken my immune system so it will make me more vulnerable to viruses. So, if you feel sick please stay away from me. I don’t want it!

This last week I have been playing more music when I get home from work trying to keep my mind from wondering. I've been playing the records that I forgot I had and that have been lost in the shuffle. There's Something about old scratchy records I’m expecting them to help a feller out.

Chemo #4 – Round 4

2009-08-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

This Chemo thing is starting to be routine now. I guess that’s a good thing. When I was in the chair at the doctor’s office there was a lady next to me that was her first time. She had that worried look like I probably had when I first sat in the chair. She started talking to me and asking questions on what to expect. Like when did I start losing my hair and how bad do I feel. As I started talking to her about my experience I realized that I was in her shoes just four treatments ago. It was weird explaining this stuff to her like I was a veteran. It kind of scared me because this is something I don’t want to get used to. It is weird the days leading up to Chemo because you know what is going to come. I already know how I’m going to feel the weekend after the Chemo. No matter how I prepare myself Chemo is going to happen. This past weekend after the Chemo I slept all four days. It feels like the Chemo symptoms are staying with me longer and they are more intense. They say the worse you feel then you know it is working. The worst I felt was on Saturday and Sunday. You would think you will feel worse on the first and second day but I guess the Chemo needs time to go through your body. After Sunday the symptoms become better as the days go by but they still linger.

Being that it’s the summer and you hear that people are going to the beach and doing fun summer things it’s hard to know that this summer is a bummer for us. Sometimes I think I’ll be just fine if we go ride bikes or go swimming. But then thinking about it I realize I don’t even want to deal with it. Its like I already know how I’m going to feel once I’m outside in the hot sun. I do wish it were December. Please santa come early!! Soon enough I guess.

Our Anniversary!

2009-08-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Lorraine and I will celebrate our 4-year wedding anniversary this Friday the 7^th. Even though we have been married for four years we really been going out for a total of 12 years. Four years ago we would never think we would be in this situation. I think we assumed we would have a house of our own and possibly a little one running around by now. As we all know nothing really ever goes as planned. As much as we tried to plan everything this cancer thing through a detour sign in front of us. So now we are trying to find that path we once had to continue with our lives. I can’t imagine going through this without my Lorraine. Even through tough days she always throws a smile my way and then I know everything is going to be al right.

She’s been taking very good care of me and sometimes I feel bad because she is doing so much lately. The days I feel good usually the week of my next treatment I try and earn my keep at the house. Since I am a very active person its kind of tough sitting on the couch or laying down when I see her cleaning the house. Before the cancer I would be the one to clean the house and pick up things. I would try and do this before she came home because I know she has been stuck in traffic for a couple hours. I still don’t see myself the type of husband to sit around watching my wife do everything. But it’s only been two months so far and I have not become used to it yet and I doubt I ever will. Also, I feel kinda bad that we really will not be able to do anything to celebrate it. But we do have each other and I wouldn't want it any other way! These last four years went by really fast and I imagine the next four will go by just as fast. I know it’s been only four years but she still amazes me everyday. In the end Lorraine is the coolest chick I ever laid eyes on. I guess that’s why I married her!

The first pic took place in 1999 probably our first picnic together

Chemo #3 – Round 3

2009-07-24T17:35:00.000-07:00

Since this was the first time using my Port I really didn’t know what to expect. They still have to poke the needle in your skin but instead they are actually poking it through the skin into the Port. The nurse says it feels like a bee sting. Because it was my first time they gave me three different numbing medicines to numb the skin around my port. The different ways they numbed my skin was an ice pack, numbing spray and a needle like the dentist. Next time I can have all of these again or different variations to make it more comfortable. I think I will just go for the numbing spray next time. The Port was much easier than them trying to find a vein like the previous times. Its like they are plugging in and pressing play. It was really easy and with no pain at all. Rupert was very cooperative.

Every time the day of Chemo they have me take a Benadryl and two Tylenol for the Bleomycin drug they give me. Those are the only pills I have to take that day. On day 2 and 3 after Chemo I have to take a pill called Zofran, which is for nausea 3 times a day. The day after Chemo I have to take my Immune booster shot called Neulasta. Before I take the shot and the following day I have to take a Benadryl, Zyrtec, and 2 Tylenol because the Neulasta can make you’re bones ache. This is because it is producing more of your good cells through your bone marrow. I can inject this shot myself at the house. Giving your self a shot is not very easy. I would be the worst drug addict if I had to do this everyday. I grab a piece of my belly fat and just before I push the needle in I count to three and then push it in my belly. The needle goes in so smoothly just like butter so you really don’t feel a thing. But watching the liquid go in as you push the needle is a weird feeling.

My Port Rupert and I

2009-07-22T21:04:00.000-07:00

I had the Mediport installed in my chest this past Monday. They put me to sleep for the procedure, which was only about 20 minutes, but we were at the hospital for 5 hours. My upper left part of my chest was very soar afterwards and I can barely move that part of my body. They had made two incisions and closed them with staples. One was on my left part of my chest where the Mediport was inserted under the skin and the other was near my collarbone where they attached it to a vein. From now on I will be getting my Chemo treatments through this Mediport. In the long run it should be easier to do this rather than trying to find a vein in my arm every time. After I am cured I can have it removed. It feels weird that I have this in my chest. It kind of feels like I’m from the future and they inserted some kind of tracking device under my skin. So, this whole week I have been lying on my back trying not to aggravate it too much.

I have named my Mediport Rupert because he will help me get through this and Rupert seems like a nice name. Please Rupert be nice to me! I will use the Mediport for the first time tomorrow and I will let everyone know how that goes. I’m ready for Round 3!

My New Doo..

2009-07-22T17:56:00.000-07:00

You can’t even imagine how much I appreciate everyone who came down for the Shave Party. My cousin Derek brought over his clippers and he was the barber for the evening. He did an awesome job. I have to give special thanks to all the members of my family who actually shaved their head for me! It was truly an amazing experience.

I’m still trying to get used to my new hairdo. I don’t feel like me. I can still pull my hair out so I know it will all fall out eventually. But I am much cooler and it’s one less thing to do in the morning. Of all the tests and procedures I have been going through lately shaving my head was really kiddy stuff.

Above:

My favorite Mother-in-law

Below:

Mike, Grandpa Joe, Derek, Ken Dog,

George, Jerry, Randy, Manny, Tom

Not Shown: Uncle Larry, Bryan, Daniel, Ivan G., Jason L., Anthony A.

Losing My Hair

2009-07-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

This past week has been very tiresome. My bones have been aching so I have been taking more naps and trying to take it easy. As expected last Saturday I started to lose my hair it began to really thin out a lot. I can pull out clumps of it very easy. Even if I just brush my hair with my hand a bunch of it comes out. I didn’t think it would come out this fast or easy.

I kind of have mixed feelings about shaving my head. I mean it shouldn’t be a big deal. If you think about it a lot of people have shaved heads and its only hair. I think it’s just the fact that the reason why I’m shaving my head is not because I want to or it’s the cool thing to do. Its almost like the reality that I am going through Chemotherapy is finally hitting me.

I know it will grow back soon enough and maybe I’ll get the nerve to finally grow a handlebar mustache that I always wanted (ha!). So, this Saturday we will be getting together at my sisters house to shave my head. A few people I know have also expressed interest to shave their head as well, which I think is damn cool. So, if you are in the area feel free to stop by. (No don’t worry; you’re not obligated to shave your head!)

Chemo #2 – Round 2

2009-07-10T16:01:00.000-07:00

This chemo treatment went almost like the first one except this time the nurse had trouble finding a good vein. As two different nursed tried digging in my arm trying to find a vein I began to feel faint. They finally found a vein and I didn’t faint. It wasn’t a good feeling. After that experience they had suggested that I install a port in my chest. A few of the patients had this port and they all seem to really like it. I may look into it and see what I need to do to have one. I will let you all know when I do.

Other than that the treatment went well. The Doc finally gave us the results of all the tests that I had done. They are putting me at a Stage IIB. The staging is to determine how far along the cancer has spread. The definition of the stage they gave me is below.

Stage II. In this stage, the cancer is in two different lymph nodes, but is limited to a section of the body either above or below the diaphragm.

The letter B indicates that you may have significant signs and symptoms, such as a persistent fever greater than 100 F with no other known cause, unintended weight loss of more than 10 percent of your body weight or severe night sweats.

To be specific I have a swollen lymph node on the side of my neck and one in the middle of my chest. The letter “B” represents the itching and night sweats I have from time to time. We are very happy with this stage and I believe we had caught this fairly early. It did not spread to any other organ and it did not spread to my bone marrow. All my blood work is fine and my lungs are perfectly normal. We will continue with the planned treatment, which will be every other Thursday twice a month for six months. So, since I already did two treatments that gives me ten more to go and five more months!! Awesome!

When I came home yesterday I felt tired and slept for a couple hours. The best sleep I had in a long time.

So This Is June

2009-07-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

Dear all of Keep Your Cool’s sweet readers, This is Lorraine and I wanted to write to you to thank you for all your support. I know we are not even halfway through this but we cannot go on without stopping to thank you all for being readers, supporters, and caring listeners. We want to thank you for the phone calls, the emails, the baskets, the flowers and the dinners. Jason and I could not have kept going on everyday, to work and to events without all of this support. June was a difficult month to swallow. It was difficult just as well for us to say hello to sunny July, as we had so many plans for this summer, you know how much we love to camp, hike and the infamous beach party we had been talking about all winter.

Our bon fire smores were not the only thing that had to be postponed. Jason and I had planned on expanding our family next year. I know, we had been saying that since we got married almost four years ago, “next year, next year”. I think we just said that to buzz “the question” off. But after some discussion, better footing in our careers and the closer it seemed we had become to purchasing our first home, we had finally decided to make room in our lives for another. Then came the news and we soon found out that after treatment Jason could become sterile. We were recommended to California Cryobank by the oncologist and with the encouragement of both our moms and the financial help of an organization called Fertile Hope, a foundation through Lance Armstrong, we were able to put our plans away until “next year”. The question, “so when are you guys having kids?” seems no harm, but when you have gone through the process of banking and looked into Artificial Insemination costs and success statistics, that question seems to weigh on my heart.

During the month of June we were both running on a few hours of sleep during the day. We would wake up almost every hour with nightmares and Jason with aches, pains and the symptoms of his cancer. The nightmares were the scariest. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and praying. Praying for strength, praying for Jason, praying that nobody would break into our home and that the weird noises outside would quiet down. For Jason the nightmares would wake him and he felt the need to wake me up and tell me about every single one of them. I would pray for him and hold him tight. For the aches and pains, well my heart only hurt for him there was nothing I could do. I remember one night just recently, his vein where they injected the chemo was throbbing. He could not sleep. Of course, he says “baby, are you awake?” and of course I am awake. We got up and we sat at the kitchen table at three in the morning. We knew we had to get dressed for work in a few hours, but we just sat. And stared. He held his arm. I held my head. Luckily the pain in his vein has almost gone away. And for the nightmares, well I think our anxiety and shock over this whole news is slowly diffusing. But every now and then he still wakes me and says scratch my neck, rub my back, scratch my chest and with one eye catching my sleep and the other eye on him, I do it.

I love this man with all my heart.

XOXO

Lorraine

My Next Treatment...

2009-07-05T22:38:00.000-07:00

My next treatment will be this Thursday on July 9^th. Then it will be every other Thursday after that for the next six months. We should also know which stage I’m at with this. If you didn’t know the tests I had to take were lymph node biopsy, blood work, PET scan, bone marrow biopsy, lung test, and x-rays.

This last week I have been feeling all right. I would catch myself laying down after I get home from work and passing out for a couple hours. Usually my shoulders and muscles have been feeling soar and once in a while I’ll feel a little dizzy by the end of the day. My left arm where they had put the Chemo in has been hurting. Almost like it was smashed in a car door. But I started drinking a ton of water and the pain began to go away. It was like my arm was telling me to drink more water. So, lately I been drinking like a fish and my arm pain has just about gone away. I had told the Doctors about the pain and they said it is a side affect of one of the drugs they used. I guess its some really strong stuff. Since I have been feeling not as bad I would sometimes forget that I have cancer. I would start doing more things around the house and almost get excited. Then all of a sudden my body will remind to slow down.

I will let everyone know how my next treatment went and until then stay cool. Literally!

But I did manage to wear a bow tie this weekend! So i guess i wasn't feeling that bad...

Day 2 & 3 After Chemo

2009-06-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

These last few days after my first chemo treatment haven’t been as bad as I imagined. I am mostly tired and my body feels sore. But lately I have been feeling a little nauseous so I have been taking these anti-nausea pills. I did manage to go to work, which I think helped. I am eating regularly but trying to stay away from foods that might upset my stomach. It is a strange feeling like something is taking over your body. Today I went to get my haircut at the local barbershop. I have been going there for about 6 years. Being that I will most likely lose my hair this was probably my last haircut for a while, we’ll see. I also went to tell my barber Tony about my diagnosis. He was very sad. He just gave me a hug and says to come by when I want to shave it off. Seeing him cry made me sad. Tony is one cool dude.

This haircut did make my day! Nothing like a good old fashioned cut. I plan on having a fun weekend with my Lorraine and my family!

I hope everyone does something fun this weekend!

So It Begins - Chemo #1

2009-06-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today was my first Chemotherapy treatment. The night before Lorraine and I could not get any sleep. We were all very anxious. Being very itchy and having bad night sweats also didn’t help me either. Those are both symptoms of Hodgkin’s Disease. I was curious to see how I would feel when they started injecting the Chemo in my veins. In the morning I was very nervous before I started but they gave me some drugs to keep me calm. I didn’t know what to expect because every patient is different. I sat in a room with ten other chairs with people getting their treatments. I was by far the youngest person there. Everyone else was at least over sixty years old, but at least they were all in good spirits. As soon as they were all getting the Chemo everyone fell asleep. It almost felt like I was at the Barbershop ready to get my haircut or a fresh shave because the nurse gave me hot towels to cover my arms to bring out my veins. The room was very cold.

My Chemotherapy that I am getting is made up of four different types of drugs called A.B.V.D.

The first drug is called Andriamycin, which is red in color, and they push it through the vein like a shot. This will also make my urine turn red. And it did!

The second drug is Bleomycin, which I didn’t get because I am waiting to do a pulmonary function test next week and this drug can cause problems with my lungs. The Doc wants to make sure that my lungs are strong enough to receive this drug.

The third drug is called Vincristine, which is clear in color, and they push it through the vein like the Andriamycin.

The last drug is called Dacarbazine, which is clear in color but it is sensitive to light. This drug is in a dark drip bag that lasts about two hours long.

After each treatment I have to go in the next day and receive a shot to boost my white blood cells to keep up my immune system.

It is kind of boring sitting and waiting for the drugs to finish. That’s why I guess people just fall asleep while they are there. The whole process didn’t hurt at all but it felt like I was watching myself in a movie. It was like an out of body experience like I couldn’t believe I am actually doing this. My mom and Lorraine sat with me through the whole process, which was about five hours long. They are the best! Lorraine brought my ipod for me and I may bring in my DVD player next time. You see different people coming and going. The nurses are really nice. The nurses were all surprised by my tattoos because they thought I had looked like a really innocent nice guy. I told them, “I am!”

After we came home I feel surprisingly fine. I have a light headache, a little light headed and my skin is pale and a bit yellowish. Other than that I feel great! By the way James Brown says..... Stay in School!

Well, Here It Goes.....

2009-06-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

My name is Gil. Some people call me by my middle name, Jason. I am 30 years old and I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease on May 27, 2009. I had an enlarged Lymph Node on the right side of my neck. The doctor did a biopsy on it and this was the result. The thought of it being cancer never even crossed my mind. When he had said that I have Hodgkins Disease. My first words were, “really”. After that I was speechless. Everything else he said sounded like the adults from the Charlie Brown Cartoons. It really didn’t register with me on what just happened.

It’s kind of hard to tell people that I have cancer. I mean it’s not like it comes up in conversation. So, I have been straight to the point when telling people and tell them what it is. The type of cancer that I have is called Hodgkins Disease or Hodgkins Lymphoma. This type of cancer attacks your lymph nodes. From my understating this is a completely curable type of cancer and that I should have no problem beating this. I have been trying to figure out logically how I have this disease. I am healthier now than I have been in my whole life. I run six miles a day and started working my way up to do a marathon. As the doctor said, “it just happens”. No reason why.

Lately I have been feeling very old like Benjamin Button. I never met anyone my age that had cancer. So, it is all very weird to me that I’m the one with cancer. I thought this only happens to people in movies or on Lifetime. I know this is going to be difficult but I know I will get rid of this. I believe everything happens for a reason. Not sure what this reason is yet but I do know I will be a better person when all of this is done. I am very grateful to have such a wonderful family and great friends to support me along the way. If you want to know more please don’t hesitate to call me, approach me, and joke with me.

With the help of my lovely wife we will keep this Blog updated as much as possible.